The Irrepressable Sun

V2.5 Melb Oct 2023

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Steam rises in spirals from my veggies, the wistful promise of fulfilment.

To quell the deep hunger that has built up over time.

It glistens in its bright coating of juices and seasoning.

My skin bristles as my excitement piques, satisfaction is instantaneous.

Each mouthful sending waves of pleasure through me.

My tongue bathed in liquid rapture.

Awash in the cascade of chemicals, rippling from my lips to the corners of my mind.

An unintended moan of pleasure escapes.

Outside, sparrows perch on frigid branches, so much for spring.

My hand is frozen on the handlebar, as I cycle up the lofty hill.

A delicate mist not enough to dissuade me from the treasured ritual.

The weight of each rotation warms me, each breath thaws my lungs.

The fine lace of moisture evaporates, the clouds tire of the soft exhale.

The break welcomed as beads run down my face all salty.

Leaves dance and flutter in the playful wind.

The grey skyline pierced by the irrepressible sun, unwilling to hide its glory from a desperate world.

I reach the top, muscles straining from the solid climb, my exhales shallow and rough.

Satisfaction arrives with me to the summit.

I dismount and settle on a low wood rail.

I’m mesmerised as I scan the exquisite vista.

A sea of indifferent roofs nestled in a carpet of trees, interspersed with splinters of bitumen.

Small patches of industry clumped along the fringes.

The gigantic park in the foreground a majestic jewel beyond reproach.

A river meanders its way through it all, flooding its banks with vibrant green and smatterings of gold.

In the distance, the city vies for attention but fails to outshine the resplendent park and sleepy suburbs.

Two lorikeets, cloaked in the same luscious green, chests splashed in golden yellow, sunrise orange and fire red, burst into view to dart and spin.

Their game a delight that fills my soul with joy.

I absorb the scent of damp soil, rich rotting leaves all musty and familiar, transporting me back to a simpler time.

A refuge in a corner of a private garden, away from the chaos and noise.

On the horizon two mountains sit undisturbed by the bustling city.

Time passes on a different scale for them, centuries as mere minutes.

They speak a language we fail to hear.

Giant sentinels waft across a pale blue sky, morphing, shape-shifting, enthralling.

Hues of grey meld, overlapping in dark smudges.

Light reflected off the edges capping the billowing outline in majestic silver with tinges of the faintest gold.

Mystical creatures coalescing in a constant flux.

I’m transfixed by their impossible, magical grace.

They weep from the sorrows of a timeless sadness sprinkling my skin.

I turn to escape the impending downpour not realising the delights I’m forsaking.

The ride down the steep hill is treacherous, slippery, nerve wracking, thrilling.

My heart pounds as traction hangs on a whisker of cold, wet rubber.

The trees above me explode in wild screeching.

Galahs and cockatoos cartwheel and swoop to unfurl their disdain.

I am a trespasser in their patch, a thief in broad daylight, a worthy target of their piercing contempt.

I amble my way back through the park, bereft of the children on swings, as the sky drowns me in liquid melancholy.

My face studded in pearls of its anguish.

It seeps through my clothes and onto my warm skin, a frozen intruder to steal my repose.

I arrive at the cafe soaked and slightly demoralised.

Hope arrives in a hot glass with a glowing smile beaming from the corners of her kind eyes. Steam floats weightless in front of me, tantalisingly delivering the divine aroma of exotic beans.

I bring it tenderly to my lips, inhale reverently and pause.

A moment worth savouring, as a kiss in first grade. As anticipation touches the folds of my tongue with warm rich velvet coffee.

The rush of endorphins replete in ecstasy.

I stare out through the massive widows, across the busy road, through the driving rain falling on the now lonely park.

Beads trickle down the thick glass through the mosaic of droplets, picking up pace, to become liquid bullets twitching side to side. 

I become aware of my breath and with some focus I stretch it as an elastic band, ever longer and gentler until my mind floats in a crystal gel.

Calm comes in waves, washing away the turbulent thoughts until I arrive at the shore where all is peaceful and serene.

Impervious to the bustle of the cafe, unperturbed by time. Spaciousness opens inside me to make room for me to just be. All the wanting fades away, all of the restlessness fades. I’m free once more.

It’s astounding to think that this is available all the time.

That just awareness and breath are required to find respite from the storm that rages inside. There all along, hiding in plain sight.

A superpower masquerading as a necessity.

A rudimentary function which becomes a doorway to equanimity.